


The Arsenal Diaries

by Felicity Allen Queen (AshyBear)



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Diary/Journal, M/M, Secret Crush, Stress Relief, Team Arrow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 22:17:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3626304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshyBear/pseuds/Felicity%20Allen%20Queen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy has been a bit stressed lately so what better way to get it all out than to write about it?<br/>He writes about his adventures with Team Arrow and his feelings towards them including the one he hates and the one he loves...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Entry 1

From what I’ve heard girls usually start these things with Dear Diary,

Thing is I’m not a girl and this isn’t a diary, well not really. It’s just a notebook Felicity gave me to write down my experiences and feelings. So a lot like a diary, but I swear it’s really not. The things I do we do the arrow team does can cause a lot of anger and stress. She says writing about it helps, so I’m giving it a try.

I always thought it’d be cool to have our “adventures” documented. And even though I wouldn’t call myself a writer, I don’t see why it can’t be me documenting them. But maybe I’ll start off slow and just write the personal stuff for now.

I know that nobody is going to find this notebook so I’m not going to bother with fake names when I write about team arrow.

John Diggle: We call him Digg or Diggle. He’s a nice guy and the type of guy you’d want on your side in a fight. He’s ex-military and was hired as Oliver’s bodyguard before he knew about any of this. I joined after all that but apparently Oliver put him through hell before he told him. He was always taking off and disappearing and was never on time for anything, so a lot like now. But I guess if you’re hired to watch Oliver you get in shit if you never know where he is. 

From what I heard he was hesitant to join Oliver when he told him the secret. The main reason he said yes was because his brother was murdered and he wanted revenge on the guy.

More personally he and his ex-wife recently had a daughter, Sara Diggle. She is so adorable and lucky that her parents do what they do just to keep her safe; her mom (Lyla Michaels) is in a special military type group called A.R.G.U.S.

Felicity Smoak: She’s responsible for the technology side of what we do, which includes finding the guys we fight. To me she’s the brains of it all and she humanizes what we do, without her I think it would be a lot less talking and a lot more killing. Although what we do can get pretty dark she’s still such a happy person, okay there are times when she can get scary angry but generally she’s all smiles. And she dresses incredibly especially since we work out of a basement. 

I know that before she joined she was doing favours for Oliver all the time. He would go to her with lame excuses because he needed her help with tech stuff like finding someone or getting information off of or about something. Then one day when he was badly hurt he went to her for help and told her who he was.

I don’t know much about her personal life, not that she tries to hide it. I know she works for Ray Palmer as vice president of Palmer Technologies though even she’s kind of fuzzy as to why she was handed the position. We met her mother once when she came to town but we were pretty busy so we barely said hello. She doesn’t talk about her family but I think I heard Oliver say her dad’s never really been in the picture or something like that.

Laurel Lance: So Laurel’s father and sister are so helpful, well Sara was when she was alive and captain Lance still is despite (at the moment) being angry at the arrow. But Laurel is one of those people who can’t let things go and they just have to prove you wrong no matter what. And just to point out: she’s not in Team Arrow.

Oliver told her that we would find Sara’s killer and that there would be justice. But she didn’t listen and instead nearly killed an innocent man and is still trying to get Sara’s murderer killed. I understand revenge and all but I agree with Oliver, there is no way she can handle knowing she had any part in killing someone. But again she just doesn’t listen. And now she’s running around in her sister’s outfit calling herself the black canary, getting into fights she can’t handle. 

I tried to like Laurel, for Oliver’s sake, but the girl is starting to get in the way and the more she fights, the more she thinks she should. I’m all for her learning self defence, somewhere else, but not if this is what she’s going to do with it.

That being said I try to be nice to her because she is around a lot even though she and Oliver are broken up now. For good. I still can’t see Oliver, this Oliver, dating her. 

Oliver Queen: he is our leader, if Felicity is the Brains he is the mastermind and the heart. He’s the reason we’re all doing this together. To the city he is known as The Arrow, though some still call him the hood or the vigilante. He started all this a couple years ago when he “came back from the dead”. He had been on his father’s boat when it sunk and then spent five years on and off an island called Lian Yu. He says he spent those five years in hell no matter where he went and faced things and people that he never thought existed.

He doesn’t talk about it much, only when he’s feeling sentimental or when it’s relevant. He’s told me about some of the things he’s had to do on nights when we were patrolling and times when he used to train me. But since he doesn’t like talking about it, it feels wrong to write it down. Like it’s just between us.

I think I could write pages and pages just about Oliver but I might start to ramble a bit. So I guess I’ll just write some basic stuff. He has one sister, Thea; he lost both his parents. Isn’t currently dating and doesn’t want to, has amazingly clear blue-ish eyes, and I’m rambling…

X

So that’s Team Arrow, the way I see and know them. And Felicity was right, even though this is only entry one it did kind of relax me to write it out. I’ll write again soon.

RH


	2. Entry 2

I guess I’ll start this the same as my first entry, just so I can be consistent, so Dear Diary

Again I want to stress that this is not actually a diary, just a notebook. But I have to start off each entry somehow and since I started the first one with dear diary it made the most sense.

So I realized after I wrote the first entry that I forgot a member of Team Arrow. I didn’t write anything about myself. Not that there is a whole lot to tell but I figured I might as well write about the whole team, that includes me.

As far as personal stuff goes I won’t give any boring details. My father’s dead, my mother’s not really around, so I live alone in the Glades.

I met Thea Queen first, not realizing who she was, I stole her purse. For some reason she couldn’t just let it go even after I gave her back the bag and we became close. She was the first girl I’d gotten close to in awhile, there was just something about her that drew me to her; maybe it’s the Queen family... 

Anyways after being with her for a bit I was kidnapped by this guy, Joseph Falk, still not sure exactly why he wanted me. Something about me being a criminal like the guy who killed his wife but I never did anything to him. I was saved by The Arrow, well at that point he was still just being called the vigilante. 

The worst part about that night was that I was willing to die, I wanted to die. I had been in such a bad place for so long, I was stealing and hurting people and I was doing it all just because of the neighbourhood I lived in. But that night when Oliver came for me, everything changed. It’s like I told him, he saved me and not just from the kidnapper I mean he really saved me, he gave me purpose. 

Okay so the purpose was small at first and basically a hand-out because I was dating his sister (not that I knew that at the time). I gave him information from the streets, until I ventured out to help my friend Sin which got me injected with the super-drug Mirakuru. It made me super strong and let me heal fast, but I could just barely control it. It didn’t help that I was being trained to control it by The Arrow and not Oliver, it was very impersonal.

He did eventually show me who he was when I was nearly beating a man to death; damn Mirakuru. But it wasn’t until after I was cured that I officially joined Team Arrow and got to know Oliver Queen. Since I wasn’t strong anymore I needed to be re-trained. And who better to train me then The Arrow?

For weeks, after my body had healed from the Mirakuru affects, Oliver and I would train in the basement of Verdant. In that first month I think I saw that place more than my own house. It was also the most time I had spent one-on-one with anybody in my life. In short it was the best few weeks I'd ever had. I even got Oliver to open a couple times, something I’ve since realized is not so easy.

So that’s basically how I ended up becoming part of Team Arrow. I guess I owe Thea a thank you for that, even though we’re broken up she really affected my life. But talking to her also means dealing with friendzone questions. The main one being crushes, I don’t know why she’s so interested in who I like. She says it’s cause of how obvious I am about liking someone, personally I think I hide it pretty well.

But admittedly it is a little hard not to drool over your crush. Especially if said crush is Oliver Queen. 

^^I know that sounded really obvious and to the point but I couldn’t think of I subtle way to write it. I’m not embarrassed to write it or even say it, I’m just cautious who I say it around. I wouldn’t tell Thea or anyone in Team Arrow but if I had any other friends I wouldn’t try to hide it.

X

I can’t tell if this entry was long or not. It seems kind of short but at the same time I didn’t realize I had so much to say about myself. Either way it’s all I can write today, it’s a slow day of patrolling so Oliver wants to train for a bit since the rest of them team is busy anyways.

RH


	3. Entry 3

Dear Diary,

Yes it is officially a diary now. But only because I’m using this entry to, for lack of a better word, gush over Oliver. But only a little, I’ll write about how we train and stuff too.

As much as I love training to be a better fighter I have to admit my favourite part is seeing Oliver shirtless. Believe me a shirtless, sweating Oliver is enough to make any man drool. Well considering I’ve never seen Diggle drool over him, but I have on many occasions, I’ll change that to any gay, somewhat gay, bisexual, curious, and on occasion straight guy. 

So I guess I should start with the reason for this entry, not that I need one other than Oliver Queen being hot. We were in the basement of Verdant training, just the two of us, I was shooting arrows for target practice. He was using the “salmon ladder” which is a series of metal rungs holding a long bar that he uses to hoist himself up. It doesn’t sound like much but I guarantee, and so does Felicity, that it is the hottest thing anyone has ever seen.

Anyway back to the point; like I said I was doing target practice just minding my own business, definitely not staring at Oliver’s abs. At least that’s what I had been telling myself until the power went out. I heard a thump behind me signalling that Oliver had jumped down from the “ladder” and when I turned around there was a small light on, he had a flashlight on his keychain. 

So what happened next just killed me, we were standing there and clearly confused so he decided we should check the fuse box. He then held his hand out to me and told me to come with him and since I was obviously shocked by this since he barely shows emotion and suddenly wants to hold my hand I asked why; this is what he said, word for word.

“I don’t know what or who did this so I’m not leaving you here on your own in the dark. Just in case”

Me: why do we need to hold hands (I realize now I should have probably taken his hand without question but like I said I was kind of shocked).

“Because I need you close. This way I can make sure you're still beside me”

We walked slowly through the dark basement for awhile looking for the fuse box hand in hand. He has warm hands, large warm hands. Don’t people have a saying about big hands? Or is it big feet? Either way I’m getting ahead of myself. As it turns out I had accidentally shot an arrow into the fuse box when my attention had been *ahem* elsewhere. We fixed the situation since it was only minor damages and surprisingly Oliver was completely understanding about the whole thing.

So maybe I’m freaking out a bit over nothing but he said he needs me! This is not normal behaviour for Oliver. Not to mention he held my hand up until the last possible second he had to let go. 

Okay so enough gossiping about my crush and my amazing evening with him. I also want to write in this Diary, maybe I’ll go back to calling it a journal, about the things Team Arrow does. 

Training:

We all have different ways of training, and in some way or another Oliver helps us train. Even Felicity trains; besides doing her morning exercising which now consists of a punching bag Oliver also has her slowly learning how to use different weapons. Her normal training is Oliver giving her different tech related missions and pretending they're emergencies to test her response time.

Besides when he needs to release his anger Diggle doesn’t train often, says he spent so long training as a soldier he as it down pat. But when he does it’s mostly one on one combat with Oliver; said he would rather leave the arrows to Oliver and now, me.

As for me, my training would probably be the most extensive, which makes sense since I am The Arrow’s right hand man. At least that’s what all the papers and blogs say. When Oliver decided to let me be part of the team he knew that this is what I wanted to do and I wouldn’t let anything get in the way of me helping people. Being Arsenal is my life, just like being The Arrow took over his life.

I do all the same training Oliver does, except the “Salmon Ladder”. He’s offered to let me try but id much rather let it be his thing. 

I guess that’s all I have to say for this entry. I’ll write again soon, and next entry hopefully i won't be so scatterbrained.

RH


	4. Entry 4

Dear Diary, Journal, Whatever,

It’s been awhile since I’ve written. After my last entry I really didn’t want anyone to find this book so I hid it in a different spot. Then we went to Central City for a bit to visit Barry and to check out how things were running at S.T.A.R. Labs. During that time I kind of forgot where I hid my notebook, but after this entry I’ll make sure I find an easier hiding place.

I should probably explain Central City and Barry since I explained who everyone in Team Arrow is in like the first entry. So Barry Allen is The Flash, which sounds really cool if you’ve heard of the Flash. The short version is this scientist guy named Dr. Harrison Wells created S.T.A.R. Labs which along with him created the particle accelerator in Central City. I’m not actually sure what the machine was supposed to do but it ended up giving all the people it hit these insane super powers, including Barry who is now the fastest man alive. He has Dr. Wells and his two friends Caitlin and Cisco help him catch the people who were affected, they call them meta-humans.

Only Oliver, Felicity and I went to Central City; Diggle decided to stay here and watch over the city. Good thing too cause Laurel thought the Canary could handle everything by herself while we were gone; we came back to more crime than when we left and her more bruised than an apple. I would have hated (liked) to see what could have happened if Digg hadn’t stopped her when he did.

It was supposed to be a two man trip, meaning just me and Oliver but Felicity changed her mind last minute. She had originally said she didn’t want to go claiming she and Barry were awkwardly romantic at times plus she has to help Ray with his super-suit or whatever he’s calling it now. I honestly don’t mind having Felicity around, despite the whole Oliver love triangle thing it creates. She is one of the best people I know and she cares for Oliver (almost) as much as I do, and I know he cares for her a lot too. So besides maybe being a little jealous of the attention he gives her I would never want to exclude her.

That being said I was kind of upset that I didn’t get Oliver all to myself for the trip. But he was all mine during training and we shared a room while Felicity got her own, so the little things helped. 

Because it was just a visit, or what Oliver is now calling a “routine check in” it was pretty quiet. Felicity’s friend Caitlin or Dr. Snow, who also works with Barry, said it was quiet enough to have a night off, and then recommended a nice restaurant to Felicity and Oliver. They were polite and asked me for permission, I of course was polite too and told them to go and have a great time.

I spent that night with Barry; we went for pizza and hung around watching movies. I stayed over at his and Joe’s place deciding I didn’t want to know how well dinner went with Felicity and Olly. If they showed any signs of intimacy the next day I ignored them completely, I’m not dating Oliver so it’s not my business what or who he does in his free time. And in all honesty it just hurts too much to think about.

Barry did end up catching one of his meta-human people while we were there, the guy was apparently low risk though so he didn’t really need our help we were mostly just back up on his mission.

The real fun was when we got home and I got to sit and watch Oliver yell at Laurel. I mean I really don’t see how she can be this dumb; people are going to figure out her identity. Besides the fact that her father already guessed it and he could easily slip up; she’s the assistant district attorney, she can’t just show up to work with bruises and cuts all the time or leave whenever something big is going down. Someone will eventually notice; if they haven’t already.

I’m going to go find an easier hiding place for this notebook so I’ll actually remember where it is and I can write more often. So I should write soon.

RH


	5. Entry 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! sorry this chapter is short, I meant for it to be longer but it just didn't turn out and thank you all so much for reading and for the kudos :)

Dear Diary,

Is that actually what he calls this? I mean yeah he’s written about us but it’s been more structured and less, as he previously put it, gushy. I mean besides a few lapses where he was describing, well actually it was more like drooling over Oliver. Not that I’m complaining, because as much as I love Olly I think he and Roy would look cute together. Hear that Roy? I would be okay if anything happened between the two of you. 

Also you should really find a better hiding place for this diary. You practically handed it to me by leaving it between the only shelves we have down here. You’re lucky I noticed it before Oliver or Diggle did; especially before Oliver did cause you know, yikes! That would have been awkward. And although I’m glad you took my advice to write out what you’ve been dealing with and thinking about, you may want to start calling it a journal full time.

So since I found this “diary/journal” just laying around I felt it was my duty to write an entry to be found. But since it isn’t my diary I’m not going to write my opinions on everyone and how we all relate to each other; that was Roy’s job. But I will write a bit about myself and maybe a little about the “diary/journal” owner.

So my name is Felicity Smoak and I am… just me. No bad ass super hero alter ego that fights crime by night, although I do know quite a few of those. Like Roy said I stick to the technology side of Team Arrow and that’s good enough for me. I’d rather be behind the scenes helping with navigation or whatever else comes up than going into battle blind.

I do own some awesome outfits, but I never thought of my outfits as incredible so thank you Roy for pointing it out in your first entry. It’s nice to know someone notices when I put in an effort.

You give yourself a lot of grief for things you’ve done in the past Roy, things that you’ve more than redeemed yourself for. You’re a lot like Oliver in that way; you can’t seem to forgive yourself for anything, but you will forgive any of us easily. I think your past is a big part of why Oliver likes you so much, because what and where you came from is so different than him but you two still turned out so similar. That and you used to worship him. He’ll never admit this, and certainly not to you, but it made him so happy before and right when you joined the team because of the way you looked up to him. If he would drop the Arrow tough act for a bit you would see that he really enjoys making a difference in everyone's lives. And making that big of a difference in you life had him smiling for days. But again don’t tell him I told you that or he’d never let me back in the Arrow Cave.

I hope you enjoyed my short little entry into Arsenal’s diary, I promise I won’t write in here again but I just couldn’t help myself. And unless you want anyone else reading this I would find a better hiding place.

Love FS


	6. Entry 6

Dear JOURNAL,

Happy Felicity? I am going to officially call it a journal from now on.

I can’t believe Felicity found my notebook. Or that she actually took the time to write an entry in it. And I do NOT drool over Oliver.

The weirdest part about it though is where she found the journal. Because when I spotted it between the shelves I freaked out. Even after finding out it was luckily only Felicity who found it. The reason being I don’t hide the journal there. I never have and Felicity is convinced she put it back exactly where she found it. Weird. 

I guess I should just be thankful that she found it instead of Diggle or Oliver. That would have been really embarrassing. Then again now I can’t get Felicity to stop smiling at me knowingly every time I talk to Oliver. For a smart girl she’s not very subtle when it comes to this kind of stuff. Let’s just hope he takes it as yet another sign that she can’t keep her eyes off him; even though she is kind of dating Ray right now.

Not that I don’t love Felicity like family but that sort of bugs me. She and Oliver have their moments where they aren’t sure if they want to date or if they want to go their separate ways. But she decided to move forward with Ray because things wouldn’t/couldn’t work out with Oliver. And for some reason she is still flirting with him and acting like he’s her one and only. Maybe he is but she still chose to be with someone else! So go be with him or dump him for Oliver. She’s leading both of them on. And again I’d like to say that I really do love Felicity like family I just don’t like that she’s hurting both these guys because she isn’t sure what she wants. It's not really fair to anyone in the situation.

But I still can’t stress enough how grateful I am that she was the one who found my journal instead of the guys. Even if Laurel had found it the situation would have been so much worse. And there is a high chance it could have been her to find it since she spends so much time in the Arrow cave with us. I know she would have been jealous to find out more people want to be with Oliver; she seemed to have a hell of a time coming to terms with the fact that Felicity has a thing for him. She probably would have given Oliver the journal right away, telling him that I was keeping secrets and writing about all of them for evil reasons or something stupid. 

 

Maybe I’m just being paranoid but I can’t seem to shake off that the journal was moved. I mean it could easily be Felicity joking around trying to teach me a lesson for hiding it in a stupid place. But it feels like she’s being honest when she says she found it between the shelves. Would someone else have read it and hid it somewhere else? No, I’m sure they would have told me. Or someone would be acting differently around me by now.

It just doesn’t make sense! Okay writing about it isn’t getting me anywhere. I’m going to go talk to Felicity again, maybe the others too. I will write again soon, hopefully with more of an explanation. 

RH


	7. Entry 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I've written. I will try to keep up with this story and thank you all for the positive reviews :)
> 
> Also I have not seen any of the current season of Arrow and I do not approve of Roy leaving so I'm no longer following the plot of Arrow for this story and all situations I mention will have nothing to do with what is currently happening on the actual show but all characters will remain the same as I have written previously :)

Dear Journal,

 

I talked with Felicity again about where she found my journal. She still swears up and down that it was in the crack between the two shelves. Its not even like it could have fallen there; I hid it on the other side of the room behind the cabinet we keep our spare clothes in.

So I decided to do some investigating as to how it could have gotten moved. I wasn't quite sure where to start so I just checked around the arrow cave to see if anything was out of the ordinary or if other small things had been moved. No luck there.

Naturally I went to the assumption that someone on the team must have found it. Which lead me to casually observing everyone. And by that I mean trying to corner someone into giving away what they know, if they know anything at all. Which didn't work out well, except for finding out that Laurel broke one of Oliver's self-made spears he brought back from Lian Yu. Which could be used as good blackmail for the future, or just something to tell Oliver when I'm bored and want to see him yell at her.

The only other persons behavior that made me suspicious was Olivers. It was nothing big either, just the crooked little smirk he gave me when I subtly brought up the subject of people who keep a journal. Then he gave me the same crooked smirk when I told him I lost something that I swore I always kept in the same place, and again when Diggle had brought up me not having a girlfriend since Thea and I answered by saying I wasn't interested in dealing with some girl on top of Arrow stuff.

I can't tell if that means he knows something or if I'm just being paranoid. I mean if he knew something he would have confronted me about it by now, right? It's not like he hasn't had the opportunity to talk to me about it one-on-one. Or maybe he knows and wants to wait until everyone is all together so he can humiliate me and kicked me off the Arrow Team.

No way, that's not Oliver. He would never do that to me or to anyone else. He may be a bit of a hard ass when it comes to training and bad guys but he really is a caring guy when you get to know him.

If he does know he's probably just waiting for the right time to talk to me about it. Or he feels guilty for reading my journal, which is practically a diary, and isn't going to say anything.

I'm not sure which is worse though. Being confronted by him or him not having an opinion. Or worse; him having a bad opinion and not saying anything because he knows that it will be crushing for me to find out he doesn't return those feelings for me at all. Even though I already know he's straight and could never like me back it would still hurt to hear him actually say it out loud.

Woah I really got ahead of myself in this entry. I mean maybe I did move it after a fight or something and was too out of it at the time to remember. I'm sure that's it. But just in case I think I might drop a few more hints to Oliver to see how he'll respond.

I'll write again as soon as I straighten this out.  
X

RH


	8. Entry 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chap on my parents crappy computer, sorry it's not edited and short.

Dear Journal,

It's been a week and I still have yet to get up the nerve to bring up the journal. I've decided to only bring it up around Oliver but things got so hectic with the newest bad guy that we haven't been alone.

The longer I wait the more nervous I get, and the more paranoid I get. I've even brought the journal home with me to insure no one will find it. Which I realize is dumb because I have been hiding it much better lately. 

I do have good news to write about too though. While I haven't spent any alone time with Oliver I know that he's been spending one-on-one time with Felicity. Why is that a good thing? well journal I will gladly tell you; They are officially JUST friends. She is now totally committed to Ray and has told Oliver that she can't do the back and forth thing with him anymore. AND HE COMPLETELY AGREED! 

As much as it sucks that he's a bit heart broken it will be much better for him not to have to worry about his relationship status with Felicity. Plus now Felicity can do her work without worry about Oliver's inner most feelings and can concentrate on the tech stuff and her minimal training.

Anyways that's all the news I have for now. I'm off to train with Oliver, maybe I'll bring up losing my journal.....  
Probably not though. I'm such a chicken.

X

RH


End file.
